who's to say today is your day?

i've said that my heart feels heavy and every time i do, it seems like i gain 50 pounds more. my mind seems like its falling into the darkest, deepest well and the shivers going down my spine are getting to be such a burden. i'm ashamed to admit that i almost gave up.
i managed to trace my veins again.
my only regret is that i didn't do much damage.

i can't imagine what more i can say to make people realize that what is eating me up inside is getting to be a much greater struggle than ever before.
attention isn't what i want.
i want to be happy, calm, alive instead of ....this.

i am no longer really here

my eyes almost feel as heavy as my shoulders. i'm slaving the days away but have gained so little.
dr. urge and his accomplices are trying to convince me that i'm just growing old.

what do you do when everything you knew means nothing to the people you care about?

yesterday i figured it out.
i'm on my own.

my goodbyes are overdue.